and mostly failing, but glad for community both online and off

My predictions were way off. It’s hard to be so wrong and so blind-sided. I thought women would vote overwhelmingly for Harris and Blue all the way down ballot to protect our rights. I thought we would protect each other. I thought we would protect the planet we all share.

This morning, I felt stupid for believing in the goodness of people. I hate that. I don’t want to think like that.

It’s much more comforting to accept a conspiracy theory that somehow the votes were flipped or discounted than accept that he won and people are so selfish. It’s easier to believe that somehow the election was rigged in their favor. But I accept reality. I live in the real world. Our electoral process is solid. It’s just unfortunately my initial gut reaction when Biden dropped out was sadly right. My first words were “Fuck, that’s it, Trump’s gonna win. America is too racist and sexist to vote for a woman of color.” I do not like this timeline! 

Harris ran an incredible campaign. Much like Ginger Rogers, she did everything perfectly, backwards, and in heels. The Democrats’ groundwork was off the charts. Thousands of volunteers wrote postcards, made phone calls, sent texts, and traveled to different states to knock on doors and talk with people. There were millions of newly registered voters. Republican voters were breaking for Harris and putting Country over Party.  Her rallies were full to overflowing and his were half empty. He had way less visual propaganda out than in 2016, and yet he won. It is hard to accept and difficult to comprehend. The United States of America has A LOT to answer for. White Supremacy is a fucking powerful drug. The Patriarchy is a hell of a drug. White women – we have A LOT to answer for. This is unacceptable and yet it is reality. 

This morning my husband and I had a good long supportive conversation over breakfast after I bawled my eyes out. He stayed with me as long as he could before leaving for work. I kept it together to get our son to school all okay and then when he was out the door, I lost it. I haven’t cried like that since our last pregnancy miscarried at 12 weeks in June 2021. Ugly tears.

My friends and neighbors have been amazing and supportive. I am so grateful for them all. I am having a hard time wrapping my head around it. It’s painful and I am grieving. The tears come and go. I am also really thankful for the community that has emerged, both near and far. There are a lot of people who worked really hard to elect VP Harris to the highest office of the land in all sorts of manners. That work will continue – but will shift into resistance and trying to protect the most vulnerable.

This evening at dinner I had a conversation with our nine year-old son. I told him that just because Trump behaves poorly, it does not give us permission to behave badly. We still should treat everyone with kindness, respect, and love. We talked about how he should react if he gets into a situation where someone is being harmed. He is a good, sweet, loving child and I want to encourage that behavior forever. 

Feelings are a lot right now – they are a mess and confusing and processing will take a while. A childhood friend shared these words and they are invaluable right now. Along the lines of Mr Rogers – look for the helpers – and we are the helpers. Everyone is going to need support and love and kindness now. Let’s embody that even more than usual. 

“Hey, my friends. You probably reached for your phone at some point this morning or stayed up late enough to know the results.  It’s hard to believe.  I know.  Please don’t panic, and don’t lose hope. Here are some things that won’t change and some things that might help:

1.  The people you love are still the people you love. Now is the time to love them even harder. Don’t let this news interfere with that love. Love harder. Keep them close. Take care of them.   Let this be your main focus.

2.  Love your neighbors. Talk to them.  Get to know them. Lean in harder on the fact that most people are just trying to get through the day, and they mean you no harm.

3.  Take care of each other. This is connected to loving each other, but makes love a verb. Put your energy into being gentle and compassionate, finding ways, no matter how small, to ease each other’s burdens, to listen, to be a part of what helps them heal. Because we all need healing.

4.  Don’t forget how resilient you are. You’ve seen things. And here you are.  You know how to lift yourself out of sadness and anger and hopelessness. Now is the time to do that again.

5. Do not let darkness win.  Don’t occupy your thoughts with doomsday scenarios and hopelessness. Your thoughts believe what you tell them. Tell them about every small thing that’s beautiful — that the sun doesn’t give a shit who’s president. That your dog is the best dog ever. That your life is actually good when you look, really look, at everything you do and everyone you love. Pay attention to the smallest things that delight you and fortify you.

6.  Stay calm. Panic is a virus. Fear is a virus. Now is the time, more than ever, to only spread what keeps us together. What keeps us mindful of each other. It’s nearly impossible to fear and love at the same time.  Replace it again and again, this fear, with love. You may have to do this 100 times a day. But don’t stop. It’s your protest.

7.  You are okay. Look around you right now. You have a day to create right there in front of you. It’s an invitation. You have coffee in your hand. It’s quiet and peaceful. You’ll be getting your kids up soon. Some of you will save a life today. Some of you will fix something that’s broken. All of us are in this together. You aren’t alone, and today you’ll both give love and receive it.  

Stay strong in these places, dear ones. They are our humanity and our hope. We’ve all heard this before: worry never fixed anything. Keep your energy flowing toward anything that grows and is good.

I love you guys so much.”

The post Trying to process the Trump/Harris election first appeared on Action Dissolves Anxiety.

Women are not without electoral or political power.

I love it when Republicans’ own words come back to bite them in the A$$. Who doesn’t like a bit of schadenfreude in the morning?

I wonder if Justice Alito understood how damaging the Dobbs decision would be to women and to the Republican party in general. 

‘Our decision returns the issue of abortion to those legislative bodies, and it allows women on both sides of the abortion issue to seek to affect the legislative process by influencing public opinion, lobbying legislators, voting, and running for office. Women are not without electoral or political power.‘
– Dobbs v. Jackson Women’s Health Organization in 2022. 

Women are turning out en masse and using our political power by voting. We watch in horror as women are denied life-saving care and the terrible stories of women dying and others losing their fertility come to light. Our elders remember the “before-times” and determinedly vote. “We are not going back!”.

In writing the 2022 opinion, Alito did not acknowledge just how devastatingly the US ballot boxes have been rigged by prior Supreme Court decisions eviscerating voting rights. However, it looks like women are overcoming those obstacles, especially suburban white women (who are maybe not voting as their husbands dictate) and older women who remember what life was like before 1973, the year I was born. 

I don’t know how many of the people voting for Harris will vote blue all the way down-ticket, but if they do, the Republican party is toast and they know it. If Congress swings Democratic then hopefully the John Lewis Voting Act will be made into law and a whole host of other policies that US citizens overwhelmingly want but which Congress has not been able to implement because of the “Freedom” Caucus blocking any sensible progress. 

In 2016, Lindsey Graham prophetically wrote: 

“If we nominate Trump, we will get destroyed … and we will deserve it”
– Lindsey Graham

He was off by 8 years – justice and change move slowly in the US – but ultimately he was right.

Fundamentally, the Republican party imploding is not good for our Democracy. You need at least two healthy parties, preferably even more for a healthy functioning Democracy. The Democratic Party of the US is in the center-right of the world-wide political spectrum. I would love to see a true progressive party spring up as the Democrats shift more to the right to court Republican voters who are putting country over party.  Thank you Republicans for Harris for doing your patriotic duty. I don’t know how this will all shake out, but I’m sure something will emerge. This is definitely not the first time in US History that parties have dissolved, birthed, or flipped. 

Gabrielle Blair wrote an eloquent piece on the current US Political Spectrum, I encourage you to read the whole piece.

To have a functional, healthy two-party system, the Democrats need to be Center-Left, and Republicans need to be Center-Right. This is important for a lot of reasons. One of them is that we need debates and discussions and negotiations and compromises in order to find the best solutions. And we also need both parties hovering at the center, because belief-wise, that’s where the majority of the American population is at, and we need a government that represents our views.
– Gabrielle Blair

Republican Vice Presidential candidate JD Vance ran his bid for Senate by being a center-right Republican. Nowadays, he seems to want to be the new face of the MAGA Republican Party. He is supported by Peter Thiel and the Federalist Society. But back in 2016 he was a “Never-Trumper”, supported by the Lincoln Project for his run for US Senate in Ohio and he won his seat with their backing.

I don’t know if Vance will crash and burn after this election because of his hard swing to the right, but let’s ensure that he never gets the chance to be “America’s Hitler’s” right-hand man in waiting. In 2016 he wrote a text to his college roommate who published it years later after Vance took a hard right into MAGA-land.

“I go back and forth between thinking Trump is a cynical a****** like Nixon who wouldn’t be that bad (and might even prove useful) or that he’s America’s Hitler. How’s that for discouraging?”
– JD Vance 2016

We have three more days until voting stops. Let’s ensure that VP Harris and Governor Walz have a large lead to stave off any and all shenanigans TFG’s team will try to pull. If you are voting in person on election day, be sure not to wear propaganda, and get to the polls as early as you can. I have a feeling the lines, no matter where you are, will be long. Vote blue all the way! Let’s gett’r done!

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Another way of saying ‘pissed’

The early voting signs are encouraging, and I have thought for at least the last month that VP Harris will prevail in this historic election. Women are motivated. Women are pissed. We are voting as one bloc.

I have had to talk several people down from spinning off. People are seriously anxious right now. Mine own anxiety was so high this summer I made a website actiondissolvesanxiety.com

It’s totally normal to spin off into “worst case scenarios” to try to prepare ourselves in case the worst does happen, but I feel super calm for some reason. I’m 99% sure the election is going to Harris. Remember all those Republicans in the primaries who voted for Nikki Haley, even after she dropped out? The Harris/Walz campaign is spending a lot of time courting Republicans and they wouldn’t waste their precious time if it didn’t give results. There is no way Democrats are breaking for him, but you can bet a lot of Republicans are breaking for her. Women are voting as a block and TFG’s campaign is even more off the rails than ‘normal’.

Below is a ‘homemade’ video (pretty damn slick!!) I first saw on FB two weeks ago and it’s brilliant on the topic of women keeping their votes secret. I am glad that people have picked up this theme and are running with it with more professional versions. Women are pissed and are voting en masse.

I am feeling a lot of schadenfreude now as MAGA men freak out about their wives voting differently from them. Equating it to cheating on them. “Why would they lie to me?” Maybe, just maybe, because you’re a controlling narcissist and she cannot be honest with you as she fears for her own safety.  Just a thought. 

I am not particularly religious, but have definitely given over to: Show up, do the work, then let go and let god. Or whatever that actual quote is. I am surprisingly calm about it all now. I have done everything I can and have no control of the outcome now. Waiting is always the worst part. I don’t want to talk or think about him any more. I am looking forward to the end of the Trump era, to him being relegated to the annals of history and to finally deflate like the overripe orange pumpkin he is. Be gone!

I know that I have my own biases and live in my online bubble. The ‘algorithms’ and our own curations do not help with our blinders. And I know that for my own online mental health I curate hard. I don’t mind being exposed to other people’s viewpoints, that is actually a good thing. Healthy debate is necessary, however so much of it is vitriol that I use the block button extensively. But the amount of activism and enthusiasm I have seen in the past two months is staggering. I am in a couple of FB groups dedicated to making sure he is not in the White House come January and just WOW. Again, I know I am in my own bubble, but the anecdotes are so up-lifting. The official Democratic ground game is off the charts. The official Republican ground game has been stripped of funds to pay for TFG’s legal fees and Musk’s PAC is tricking people into canvassing. We’re not even comparing apples to oranges here, maybe apples to fiberboard.

But yeah, when she wins, MAGA will not go quietly into the night. And that is a problem. Luckily, TFG is not in a position of power. He isn’t the President, he doesn’t have control of the military, and I think he’s going to get trounced hard enough that the general establishment will accept the results no matter how many legal tricks his team pulls. Good luck to him even trying to get a permit for a protest in DC if he loses. No way that would be approved after Jan 6. 

Harris’ To-Do list is great, but I have more things to add. As we well know, a woman’s work is never done. My fervent hope is that Congress becomes fully Democratic and the John Lewis Voting Act is passed. We need to reform the Supreme Court and the Electoral College, make Washington DC and Puerto Rico states with actual representation in the US Government and so much more. 

Voting ends on Tuesday November 5th. Make your plan, bring your friends, and let’s bring this home! 

The post Women are ‘motivated’ in this election first appeared on Action Dissolves Anxiety.

one week to go until voting ends

Watching VP Harris speak at the Ellipse is such a sharp contrast to two of Trump’s speeches that come immediately to mind – his speech there on Jan 6, 2021 and the racist mess that was his closing argument at Madison Square Garden. The differences between the candidates couldn’t be more stark. I encourage you to watch her whole speech on YouTube. 

I eagerly join the millions of people who have already cast their vote for the Harris/Walz ticket for a better future, to fight to protect the planet, to fight to restore women’s reproductive health, and to continue the work under the Biden/Harris administration to build up the middle class. 

Early voting has already started in most states. Ensure you show up, cast and check your vote. Contact three friends to find out their plans to vote. Your vote is your voice. If all of our votes weren’t so powerful, they wouldn’t be trying so hard to suppress them. 

Below are some important highlights from VP Harris’ speech. She will be an amazing President.  

We like a good debate. And the fact that someone disagrees with us does not make them the enemy within. They are family, neighbors, classmates, coworkers. They are fellow Americans, and as Americans, we rise and fall together.

We have to stop pointing fingers. It is time to start locking arms. It is time to turn the page on the drama and the conflict, the fear and the division. It is time for a new generation of leadership in America. And I am ready to offer that leadership as the next President of the United States of America.

As long as I can remember I have always had an instinct to protect. There is something about people being treated unfairly or overlooked that frankly just gets to me. I don’t like it. It’s what my mother instilled in me, a drive to hold accountable those who use their wealth or power to take advantage of other people. The drive to protect hard working Americans who aren’t always seen or heard and deserve a voice. And I will tell you that is the kind of President I will be.

And look. I am not perfect. I make mistakes, but here’s what I promise you. I will always listen to you, even if you don’t vote for me, I will always tell you the truth, even if it is difficult to hear. I will work every day to build consensus and reach a compromise to get things done. And if you give me the chance to fight on your behalf, there is nothing in the world that will stand in my way. 

One Day One I will walk in with a To-Do List to help Americans who are working hard and still struggling to get ahead. 

The activism and early voting look good but keep the pedal to the metal. Ignore the polls, the pundits and just encourage everyone you know to vote. This needs to be a blue tsunami of votes to protect against shenanigans and to give President Harris the powers to pass laws US citizens actually agree on with a Democratic Congress. I know I have a wish list – how about you? Pass the John Lewis Voting Act, reform the Supreme Court, pass sensible gun laws, and so much more.

The post VP Harris’ speech at the Ellipse first appeared on Action Dissolves Anxiety.

let’s not repeat the past in the present

The seven minutes of archival footage from the Madison Square Garden event from 1939 is horrific. I have read about the event. I have listened to Rachel Maddow’s incredible podcast Ultra about the America First movement and how it infiltrated the US society and government. I even watched the fictional movie “Amsterdam” whose ending was inspired by this event. Today, my father sent me the link to watch the archival footage at anightatthegarden.com. Seeing the real footage from 1939 and watching a man get beat down and everyone (including the children on stage) enjoy it turns my stomach. But it important to face the past, face the hate, fully denounce it, and not let it repeat itself.

The fear – rightful fear – many people have about fascism truly unfolding in the USA plays into the fascists’ hands as people and oligarchs “obey in advance”. Do not obey. Do not let any of this abhorrent behavior be normalized. Nothing about this is normal.

I watched the hecklers at the Harris Rally this weekend get shamed and told they were at the wrong rally. They were shamed but they were not beaten.

People who live in “Red States” are afraid to have Harris posters up on their front lawns, or wear paraphernalia supporting the Harris/Walz ticket. People that do wear shirts, hats, bracelets, etc. report that Harris supporters will come up to them conspiratorially and tell them how brave they are for being out and proud and loud about their support of the Democratic ticket in this election. That seeing them be so brave gives them hope. The threat of violence is all too real. It has happened and is happening now. Thankfully, others are calling idiots on their shenanigans, tracking their stolen signage and pressing charges. Watch the linked video on Reddit – it’s quite something.

Reading Heather Cox Richardson’s latest Letters from an American about the instructions to US citizens about fascism – literally what they were dying for in the fighting in WWII – brought it all horribly home. I am cautiously optimistic that the citizens of the United States of America will kick ass and a huge blue wave will engulf the land – from sea to shining sea. But “it” also could happen here. I still have too much PTSD from 2016 to fully trust that the US isn’t too sexist nor too racist to do the right thing.

As TFG prepares to have a rally at MSG this Sunday Oct 27, I am preparing for it to be a full on hate fest. Given how they seem to have reused fascist designs in previous conservative rallies, I will not be surprised if they pull out all the fascist stops. Remember the CPAC2021 stage shaped like the Odal Rune?

Please, keep the pedal to the metal this next week and afterwards. Ignore the polls, get out and vote, bring three friends, donate to important down ticket races and Vote Blue all the way down ballot. We are all in for a bumpy ride no matter the outcome.

The post Madison Square Garden first appeared on Action Dissolves Anxiety.

If you vote in person, ensure you follow all the rules

The amount of online enthusiasm for Harris/Walz is somewhat calming my anxiety leading up to this monumental election – but I also know that online I exist in a very curated bubble for my own sanity, and I remember the disappointment of previous elections. I am seeing people sharing photos of their ballots and also their clothes in support of their candidates. It is easy to forget, but there are laws – strict ones – in place to protect people’s votes and to protect from influence.

You will want to check and see if you can wear your ,la shirts, buttons, Swifty bracelets, etc. as 21 states prohibit campaign apparel/ buttons/ stickers/ placards. If you do wear something in support of Harris, be sure to have a jacket/hoodie covering it up while you vote. Maybe if you wear a blue top, pearls and/or chucks it will be subtle enough to not be called into question, but check the rules because every vote counts!

Another issue is taking photos of your ballot and posting it online. Photos of ballots have been prohibited in some states for years now because it can be used as proof if someone paid you for your vote, which is obviously a bad thing. Big no-no.

“In many states, it’s perfectly legal to share a so-called “ballot selfie,” so have at it. But taking a photo of your ballot and posting it online is not allowed in at least 14 states, and in others, you’ll be in something of a gray zone.” – VOX

If you wear campaign apparel or take a selfie to show your enthusiasm you might not be able to vote, and you do NOT want that, especially after everything we have been doing to get people to show up to vote and to bring their friends and family along for the FUN. Let’s protect our FUNdemental rights!

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